i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
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So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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