Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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