The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
This house was built for laser tag.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
