I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
