I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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