I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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