awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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