I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
