problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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