Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
