You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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