Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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