sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
