Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
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