We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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