I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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