I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
