Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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