omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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