Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
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He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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