I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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