Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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