i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
