sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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