people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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