The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
