so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it