if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
how drunk are you?