i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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