Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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