weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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