You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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