So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
