so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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