I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
