can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
