lets start a swedish sibling band together
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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