Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
