just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
