he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
