Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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