Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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