i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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