She said her name was "party"
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize