I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
