I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
