Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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