My first STD was from a foam party
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Im part way to drunk.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
