The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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