Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
