I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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