i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
