Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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