And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
