I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
