I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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