I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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