A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The air taste purple.
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